You know, it is a real weird feeling not having my police car around anymore. The agency I work for gives you a take home car. A lot of agencies around here do it. Well, it's been about two months now since I got suspended, and it's the little things that stick out. Neighbors started asking, "Shamus, where's the car?". I just smile and say, "They have me in the office right now. Someone else is driving it."
Well, tonight, I get a knock on the door, and it is a neighbor from down the way. He needs some advice, 'cause some dudes followed his teenaged daughter home and weren't too cool. While I am chatting with him, it comes up. "Hey, I notice the car isn't around anymore, are you still in the department?"
Now, I know people don't understand how cop stuff works, so they don't mean it, but, it really sucks. Every time someone brings it up, I feel a knife in my chest. I feel like I am out of the game, and watching from the stands.
You know, I am. I am watching my career wind to a close. Old Shamus is resigning, six years earlier than the standard twenty year tour. No pension, no retirement badge, no party, no nothing.
Well, enough of feeling sorry for myself. The work front is creeping along. I have applied to a smaller township department. This township, ironically, works in the same jurisdiction I work for now. Same dispatch system, same reports, same academy. Other than that I have sent my resume out to a few places, filled out some online job applications, and am just waiting for my union lawyer to work out the details of my resignation.
More on that as it comes.