Friday, May 29, 2015


Alternate purpose for these things.....

Recently, I was asked what I do if I have to poop while on duty, considering all the stuff I have to wear while in patrol.  At first, I thought it was a funny question, and said, "I just go, man."  Then it hit me.  They were wondering what the hell I did with the gear.  After I was asked by a kid when I was washing my hands after eating a gourmet breakfast of Chick-fil-A (love that place!) the other morning, it got me thinking.  This must be a thing!

Well....... you asked, I'll answer.  Listed here is my approximate routine for taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.


As you see above, my favorite is the baby changing table, if they have one in the larger, sometimes marked Handicapped stall, which is my first choice of stall.  And, yes, that is really my rig.  It is within reach, and up off the floor.  If the stall doesn't have one of those changing tables, I loop and hook the belt around the grab handle in the stall.  This is my preferred method for securing the belt. 

At some of the fire stations, and at the police station, the stalls have a hook on the back of the door.  I use that hook to hang the belt from the hole in the hook side of the belt.  See that hole there?

hole for hanging....

If it is a private bathroom, I put it in the sink, making sure it's not one of those automatic faucets. And as my last resort.....I just loop it closed and place it on the floor in front of me.


What is a shirt stay, you ask?  These stupid straps that keep your shirt tucked in.....

I hate these fuckers........
Well, there is a pair for the front, and a pair for the back.  I unhook the back from my socks, pull them around my chest, and hook them together in front.  keeps my shirt tail from hanging in the toilet.


The vest has these tails, that are supposed to keep your vest from riding up.  looks kind of like this.....


Well, the back one gets shoved between the back panel, and my t-shirt, to keep it from dangling.  And trust do NOT want that dangling.

Then you sit, know.

Getting the paperwork done takes practice, since you can't really bend, or twist normally, but you get used to it.  

After the job is done, suit up like normal, and there you have it.  Now, for #1, I'm a dude, so it's business as usual, if you catch my meaning.....

So, there you have it.  A little light-hearted post on a Friday, to answer a question I've been asked a few times by friends......and complete strangers.

If you have a question about how we take care of day-to day activities that you are curious about, respond in the comment section below. I'll answer it in the comments section.   If it has an answer that is post worthy, I'll do a post on it.

Stay safe out there, and enjoy your weekend, when ever it may be......


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